AN AHJUMMA HACKED INTO MY BASEMENT AND STOLE MY LIFE

Perched on top of a rooftop, Seo Jung-hoo opened his corn snack.

Ever since his teacher left, Jung-hoo had started to adapt to his own lifestyle. Even though he could never cook to save a life, he always knew to steal. And he did that perfectly. Blessed with feet that didn’t make a squeak, he was always one step ahead of all the people he stole from. He wasn’t a bad person, he just stole stuff that nobody would care for: food, an umbrella that was left in a store, caps. He had a collection of black caps, he didn’t know why, but he always felt safe wearing them. He has also taken a liking to wear black and play video games.

He was bored. For all his nineteen years in life, he didn’t know why he wanted to follow his teacher, even to the very end of the world. Maybe because he taught him how to bear pain and to turn it to something useful. Jung-hoo worshipped his teacher; Ki Young-jae was his God. And that’s why when said God left, he didn’t feel like living anymore. He stole into places like a cinema hall or something, waiting to be caught. He didn’t know why, but his life was less meaningful, until that day. The day he met her.

He picked up his corn and looked at it. He didn’t feel like eating, but to keep his physique healthy, he took a bite. With a free mind, he took another mind, murmuring the ice cream song he had heard before in the street. When he approached his fifth bite, his phone suddenly rang, making him jump and topple at the edge of the rooftop. Cursing to himself, he looked at the screen, uncrossing his legs to re-cross them again.

The number was blocked and Jung-hoo furrowed his eyebrows, hitting ‘answer’. He waited until someone talked.

“Hellooooooo?” came a really weird female voice.

“Hello?”

“Seo Jung-hoo?” It was an elderly female voice, someone probably in her 40s.

“Who’s asking?” Jung-hoo asked suspiciously.

“Tshh… the nerve of him….” He heard her mutter before speaking directly to him, “My name is Jo Min-ja, and I’m your sponsor”. Jung-hoo fought the urge to roll eyes.

“Sponsor?” he asked himself whether he needed a sponsor, “I’m not a drug addict”

“……… Drug addict?”

“Drug addicts need sponsors. And alcoholics. I’m not an alcoholic either or a superstar” Jung-hoo replied, not knowing why he was explaining himself to a complete stranger.

“Superstar?” he heard her mutter some colorful profanity before returning her attention back to him, “Are you even hearing yourself?”

“I’m perfectly capable of hearing myself, thank you very much. Now I have to finish my food and get back to my…” he looked around himself, “… work. So goodbye and have a nice day”

He almost hung up before remembering, “Oh, and I don’t need a sponsor”

“Wait-”

Jung-hoo hung up and shut his phone to slip it into his jeans’ pocket. Who is this Jo Min-ja person? And most importantly, how did she know his name? He thought that only his teacher and his mother knew about his existence.

His phone rang again. Seeing that it was from the same number, he hit ‘ignore’ and slipped it back into his pocket. Several minutes later it rang again. This lady was starting to be a stalker. He has lost his appetite and so he slipped down from the ledge, stealing across the roof to get back to his lonely basement.

When his phone rang once again whilst in the basement, he switched it off and threw away the battery. Who was this Ahjumma bothering him? He took off his black t-shirt and sat on the couch, determined to play something with his play station. He couldn’t go any further than the middle of level 10, when the screen started to act up.

“Mwahahahahahahahaaaaaa”

Jung-hoo jumped several feet at that wanna-be evil laughter and habitually dove in to the cushions to reach for his knife.

“What the- who the HELL is that?!”

“Seo Jung-hoo” a loud voice that was much similar to that bothering Ahjumma boomed throughout the basement, “You really think that I can’t find you?”

“Bothering ahjumma?” Jung-hoo asked standing up and going to instant cat-mode.

“That’s-that’s an insult, I s’pose?” she said after a moment of silence.

“What do you want?” he yelled around him, “and show yourself! Are you a ghost?”

“Are you- are you hearing your- never mind. No, I’m not a-a ghost. Is my…. Hmmm…. Is my voice loud? Is that why you think I’m a ghost? Oh, right, I’ve upped the base sounds and by the way, do you really want me to die?”

“I don’t even know you!” Jung-hoo yelled, “I told you, show your bloody self!”

“Aish, you miserable wingless bat! Language! I’m an elder. Haven’t your mother taught you to respect elders?” the annoyed voice boomed.

“I don’t know whether you’re an elder or not!”

“I am. And I’m coming through your computer. Ah-ah-I don’t think switching off your computer can stop me from talking” the Ahjumma said, when Jung-hoo made a move towards the computer, “I can always hack you through you mobile. I can turn it ooooonnnnn~ Trust me”

“How can I? Like I said, I don’t know you” Jung-hoo said.

“You don’t know me. I don’t know you either. What does that make us?”

“That makes me intelligent and you, insane” Jung-hoo replied, smartly.

“Aish the mouth on this kid. I would like to kill Ki Young-jae-”

Jung-hoo froze. This was the first time he heard his teacher’s name coming from somebody else’s mouth. This Ahjumma knew about his teacher?

“Ahjumma?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you- how- how do you know K-ki Y-young-jae?” he stumbled on his words.

“Oh…. You’re uncomfortable talking about him, right? He’s your teacher and he wanted me to contact you. I …….know him”

Why?

“Why did he want you to contact me?”

“You have a job to do. You’re as annoying as he is, no difference you two. You’ll make a handsome Healer but, seriously both of you have to learn how to control your tongue once you get a girl and if she’s innocent as -”

“Ahjumma!”

“What now?”

“I’m not doing any job” Jung-hoo replied.

He didn’t know why he was reasoning with this Ahjumma, only thing he knew, he wasn’t bored anymore.

“You will be, soon”

“Why? Why do you sound so confident that I will do that job?”

“Because you are the Healer”

Jung-hoo raised his eyebrows at that. He was a what now?

From that day onwards, Jung-hoo found a reason to live. This annoying Ahjumma controlled his life and he actually liked it. He liked what he did, he liked being called ‘Healer’ and he was good in what he did. Ahjumma often de-motivated him using many cursory words and showing annoyance, but he found a way to worm to her heart. She hated when he did that.

This ahjumma hacked into his basement and stole his life.