Jung-hoo's countless list of feels - Episode 11


Jung-hoo's countless list of feels: Episode 11

Looking back at it now, episode 11 was rather dark, both visually and emotionally - the former lending itself to the latter, no doubt. And whilst Jung-hoo was still very much in the dark this episode, his conflicting emotions paved the way for him to take more of a decisive form of action in which the end goal was always going to be Yong-shin; and I love how this is depicted in the lighting of all the above scenes, whereby Yong-shin stands out as a symbol of truth - the light at the end of the tunnel. And there’s only one way for Jung-hoo to get there, and that is to brave through the darkness.

For Jung-hoo, the heaviness of his father’s truth is what halts his footsteps, preventing him from reaching out to Yong-shin. The moment he hears from Moon-ho that his father was a murder suspect, not a murderer, takes him further away from the truth and proves emotionally more draining for him, as now the truth can swing either way, leaving him in a constant state of restlessness until he gets to the bottom of it. Proving his father’s innocence is not only tied to his present, but also his future, as it’s the one thing which will make or break him as an individual who strives to form relationships in the real world. He desperately wants, or rather needs, his father to be innocent if he is to hope for a future with Yong Shin – for the weight of his amoral ways (as Healer) is already proving heavy enough. For him, family is the one thing that can save him from leading a guilty existence, for it will prove that his background is one of innocence and morality. It’s rather an archaic view, but it’s this very traditional way of thinking which allows him to form lasting relationships with people – even though he’d hate to admit it; his sincerity is what leads him to care about the the people around him the most, no matter how brief their encounter.

I love how he’s willing to give up his world for Yong-Shin, literally. The fact that he openly declares to ahjumma his being relieved of his Healer duties, suggests that he’d long been prepared for it. It’s a sign that he’s ready to enter the real world, but in doing so, he has to leave behind the only world he’s ever known – the world of a night courier.

His vision of the world from above has always been some of my favourite moments in Healer. It not only speaks volumes about the way he envisions the world around him, but also the people within it. In this episode however, I like how the scene ties in with his momentary recollection of Morumoru Island. Thinking about it now, Jung-hoo has always been living on an island, for his Healer duties demanded it of him. Ironically, that very island was a world created for him by Moon-ho during his childhood phase, only difference being is that he was left on the island alone once he had grown up.  Perhaps that is why it came as such a shock to him when Moon-ho (lies) informs him of Ji Ahn’s death. It’s this lonely existence of his which had him fend for himself, but in doing so, distanced him from forming human ties. It seems apt then that it is Yong-shin (Ji-ahn) who reconnects him to the real world, for it’s her faith in him which lures him out, allowing him to put his complete trust in her.

His exploration of the real world forces him to step out of the tent which he’d remained in for so long. But I love that it’s Yong-shin who leads him out of it, guiding him every step of the way. Her sincere request for a date was enough to get Jung-hoo stumbling over obstacles in front, but his faith in her has him follow her every lead, despite remaining in the shadows.

In the end, what separates them is a barrier which Jung-hoo has formed for himself, partially shielding him from the real world. But when Yong-shin steps out into the light, he boldly takes hold of her her arm - not wanting to let go; and whilst his face is kept hidden from view, from Yong-shin at least, his insecurities are laid bare for us viewers to see – his eyes filled with both longing and fear.

For Yong-shin however, the seeing was never important (as we’ve gathered from their numerous other encounters), rather it’s the feelings which transpire between them that holds significance. The way his hand gradually slides down to join hers – slowly interlocking them, displays genuine feelings of love and affection, yet still evokes feelings of trepidation. It’s the way he communicates these feelings to her (without any need for words) which keeps Yong-shin smiling with confidence, for she understands his predicament, even without knowing it, showcasing her unwavering faith in him. Is it a wonder then that the pain and sadness he feels in that moment is so palpable, that just the mere proximity of their encounter adds to the weight of his problems, showing how much he longs to be with her.

The distance between them is one which Jung-hoo feels the full force of, despite being only inches apart. And whilst Yong-shin is able to move boldly forward, it is Jung-hoo who remains rooted in fear, needing Yong-shin to lead the way. 

By namedx

Note to all readers: 

Sorry for the ridiculously late update - work kind of got in the way! Hopefully, I'll get to finish the rest of the feels now that I have holidays coming up. It seems the feels are still raw, even after a two month hiatus! The power of Healer, ha! As always, thank you for enjoying the list of feels!



  1. yeah! I won't read it right away. Save to read later. Thanks! Namedx.

  2. Thank you for continuing the List of Feels. The power of Healer!

  3. You are so appreciated namedx! Thank you for continuing to provide us with the countless feels of Healer. Even though it ended over four months ago, Healer is still fresh in our minds. Please keep up the great work!

  4. namedx deqr,
    pray not apologize.... we all do have a "real cruel life" outside the breathtaking world of moro moro.... that we still need to toll and earn a living..you do ... so take your time and wait for inspiration... and awe us every time you post.... your posts, just like many of the others here... are the refuge we seek... you exactly spelled the words we so wanted to say, ... but are unable.... suffer us to thanks you for the indulgence you offer us... a little feels at a time... not all at one go... so we can wait and wait.. and prolong the waiting for nice sweet posts that help us recall THAT AWESOME DAYS when we yearn the Mondays and Tuesdays, and we lost in our Garden of Eden for a good few months, till it ended at 11 Feb...
    your posts help us weathered the drought, the hunger that we suffer even since then...
    so keep posting please, we plead you.

  5. "It’s the way he communicates these feelings to her (without any need for words) which keeps Yong-shin smiling with confidence, for she understands his predicament, even without knowing it, showcasing her unwavering faith in him." you said.
    exactly !
    a good 4 months have past.... and i have yet to forget,and forgo Youngshin... yes, i do watched other shows like Who are you School,,,, HwaJung... Angry Mom... yet Youngshin is still second to NONE... she just uniquely stand out. she waited when he cannot give a sign that he do cares.. she trusted when signs and evidence is against him,,.. she stand firm when he pushed her away for her goods...
    her smile at this scene is one of a classic... a smile of contentment, a smile of trust, a smile of understanding, a smile of true giving... ",,, as i promised, i will not see, i will not ask, i will not say anything... i will not demand... just sit somewhere near me... this entwined hands is more than enough.. and will be suffice to last me for a long time... so i will walk away happily... so do not worry about me..."... what a self sacrifice girl... even as she is hungry and starving for assurance, she is still willing to give comfort n assurance that, he can take his time to come to her....
    awesome !

  6. namedx, any more inspiration of feels coming? (mary of bethany here)

    1. Hey Mary,

      Yep, I do intend on completing the list of feels, just a matter of finding the time *sad face*. I'm actually really gutted, coz I had made the intention of completing them before the end of 2015, sigh, but that too has gone.

      Work has been rather hectic, but I'm going to try and find the time to finish them up - and since I'm on a drama hiatus, hopefully I'll have more time on my hands to just sit and write about what I love. Sorry to disappoint you! namedx


    2. Hello from Healer Gallery! We've just finished on translating ep 10 and are about to start on ep11.... will be waiting for ep 12 :)