Dear Ahjumma, from level-headed Jong-soo

09:59

Q. Dear Ahjumma, 


This is Jong Soo from Someday newspaper. I'm sure, you must've heard all about me from your Healer 2.0 team.. How can you not, Moon-ho Sunbae's practically a fan and Young-shin, well, let's just say that she's smitten by me and my looks from the day we met! 


Anyway, I bet Chae Young-shin talks about me often.. I know, I know that she and Jung-hoo are a "couple" now, but would you believe if I told you that I still catch her sending longing glances my way all the time.. Not like I care least bit! She had her chance, but she just had to ruin it..! Sadly for her, the ship of my love has already sailed... never to return. Any which way, I'm just too awesome to date her!


And then there's that crazy Healer dude.. I've heard that he was your partner and that he was the best in his field! Ha, the best? the dude wishes! He never fooled me with his act, never for a second! And how did you work with him for 8 long years? 'Cos if you ask me, that guy's weeeeird.. As for being Young-shin's BF, well, had I met Young-shin first, this Jung-hoo would never have had a chance, not in a million years! Not to mention, I'm much better photographer! I've heard he's too clingy.. can you imagine that? So not right for a girl like Young-shin.. If only the dude had my good looks, maybe he wouldn't have to cling so much.. Anway, like I care.


Coming to Moon-ho Sunbae, between you and me, I think Sunbae needs to retire.. I bet you agree that he isn't as charming anymore (but don't tell him that on his face, even at his age, he can still knock off a tooth or two, with his punch.. So just say that to him on phone!).. Anyway, long story short, everyone knows that I'm SomeDay's Star Reporter now. This Someday or Monday is nothing without me! Sunbae'll be so well off, just going back to AGN and staying with Min-jae Sunbae, leaving SomeDay in my capable hands!


Which sort of brings me to my point: Ajhumma, do you know by any chance, if Dae-yong has a boyfriend? Can I just tell you that I have the hots for her, oops, that came out all wrong, that I just kinda think that her glowing skin and her flowing hair complement my natural good looks quite well.. Not that she'll ever find someone as handsome as me in her life, but I can be generous enough to grace her life. So, uhmmm, I kinda wanted to understand her love situation.. Well, whatever the situation, I think she'll never be able to resist my charms. So I wanted to give you the opportunity to set me up with her.. 'Cos you know, you kinda have a history of setting up Healer's date and well, Dae-yong sort of "is Healer" now.. As for the date itself, I don't want all the super-cheesy hanky-panky Jung-hoo made you do for his date.. Lemme go ahead and give you license to set up the date anyway you like, just no movie theatres, no rooftop tents, no long drives, no speaking rabbit soft-toys, eww! That's so Healer Gen 2! For Healer Gen 3, I bet you're itching to outdo yourself this time.. I'll be looking forward to how you set us up.. No pressure.

And by the way, I've heard that Dae-yong knows Taekwondo.. Would you happen to know how high she can kick? Well, just so I know where to stand.. Just for self-defense, I mean. 

- Jong Soo

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A. Dear level-headed Jong-soo,

I have met people like you- with an iron pole up their asses. I even have a name for them, which I won't mention, because that would be an insult. And I don't insult people. Instead, I encourage them to call it themselves. One day, when you take out that giant rod stuck in your but, you'll understand what this ahjumma said. And you'll regret it. Deeply.

I am indeed very familiar with your bipolar disorder- unable to choose between two girls. You've been watching too much dramas for sure. Thinking that a main lead like Chae Young-shin and an extra like you would even have a loveline. HA. You'll have to excuse me but I have to laugh out loud. Heck, you even share the same screen with each other once in a 20 episode drama! I feel sorry for you, I really do. But if you were my son, I would've already shipped you off to another country without any mean of income. You have to learn from the start- from scratch. I would've said that I was sorry to be so blunt, but it would be meaningless if I didn't mean it, right?

And if you think you'll have a go with Dae-young, think again. You know that she can kick ass, so what makes you so certain that she won't kick yours? She's a tomboy and I think she's more manlier than you are or ever would be. Even your dick-waving contest with Jung-hoo won't do any good. 

I'm wise, far more awesome and have better hair than you, so listen! Both girls are NOT into you. Accept the truth. You've just created this huge mirage in your mind thinking that you are the Trendy Hot Stuff available in the market. True, there are many fish in the pond, but look around you, there are betterlooking fishermen than you. The truth hurts.

Peace out,
Ahjumma.

P.S. My advice- give up already. Become a priest or an idol. Show people that you are actually of worth. If not, and you think that I'm a smart-mouthed old fart, keep walking with that pole up your ass. Don't say I didn't warn you when you hurt your balls!

1 comments

  1. ajumma i always knew that u were such a sensory woman with a very big heart but the loss of your son affected your feelings a lot that's why you've decided to live in isolation from people and the world but why did you treat jung hoo oppa differently!! as a son i meant :) sarananda ajummaah u're the best (y)

    ReplyDelete