Jung-hoo's countless list of feel - Episode 9
Jung-hoo's countless list of feels: Episode 9
The first sign of snow sure is magical. It creates an
ambience of dream like fantasy which plays right before your very eyes. However,
in Yong-shin’s case, Jung-hoo shields her from this dream by keeping her eyes
covered, lest it becomes too real for him to handle. He’s not yet prepared to make this dream a
full blown reality, and therefore settles to keep it within reach.
But the moment she reaches out for him, Jung-hoo retreats;
it’s a clear sign that the warmth of the kiss proved a little too overwhelming
for him, whose life so far had been devoid of such feelings.
At this moment, Jung-hoo’s eyes reveal a child-like fear, as
he becomes wary of her close proximity. He’s allowed to get himself too close.
And whilst this may arouse feelings of giddiness in the viewer, there’s also an
element of sadness attached to it, as we realise that Jung-hoo is not used to
having anyone reach out for him this way.
I love how even whilst retreating, Jung-hoo keeps himself
faced towards her. It’s a poignant way of showcasing that whilst loved ones may
have turned their backs on him, he’s never one to turn his back on them, showing
his love to be faithful.
What’s equally nice about this moment is the way in which
Yong-shin chose to keep her eyes covered. She respected Jung-hoo’s decision in
wanting to keep his identity hidden, displaying her faith in the people that
she cares about; for Yong-shin, seeing isn’t important, it’s what she felt
during their encounter which became real for her (like the touching of the snowflakes) – hence why she was able to
say (to Moon-ho) with such conviction that she saw him, even without having
done so.
It’s one of the reasons I love how she caught hold of the
snowflakes in her already outstretched hands, mirroring Jung-hoo at the
beginning of the scene; it’s an action which turns their dreams into a shared
reality.
Ahh, the moment he realises just how deeply he’s fallen for
her, literally. His little stumble leaves both him and ahjumma gaping in
shock. I love how his feelings become magnified in this moment, whereby his
cool, calm and collected self becomes visibly shaken by the after effects of
the kiss. You can just see him trying to process his growing affections for
Yong-shin as his heart starts palpitating.
I also love how Ahjumma turns this into such a momentous
occasion for him, emphasising how he, who never falls even when someone pushes
him, has fallen down all by himself. It’s such an overt metaphor for his
growing affections, and how they’re beginning to dictate his actions, yet when
we see Jung-hoo’s reaction to it all – the deep breaths, the wide-eyed shock,
the continuous blinking of the eyes, and the placing of hand over heart – the
metaphor seemingly springs to life, having us believe that Jung-hoo’s heart truly
is bursting at the seams. As a result, the heart monitor no longer serves the
purpose of forcing these feelings upon us (as per your usual drama trope) rather,
it’s cleverly used to convince Jung-hoo of his own state of feelings, as well
as alerting ahjumma to the uncontrollable nature of it.
For a person who’s always been in control, and whose job requires
complete and utter focus, not mentioning emotional detachment, Jung-hoo’s
moment of unsteadiness is what keeps him clutching at the heart; it’s almost as
if he’s unable to believe in the feelings that stem from an organ which has
been dormant for so long. After all, it’s after a long period of isolation and
loneliness that he finds his heart pumping again – a sure sign of life, proving
just how raw these feelings are.
It’s a small moment, but I have to comment on it because it’s
just too adorable not to, lol! The scene where he follows her down the stairs
and bobs his head up and down in time to her singing – I love that he’s no
longer freaked out by it, but has come to enjoy it instead, enthusiastically
might I add!
The moment that he continues to walk her home keeping a watch
from a distance, her safety being his first priority – I loved this entire
sequence; because we see it primarily from Yong-shin’s perspective, whose sixth
sense alerts her to someone’s presence, her hope of catching a glimpse of
Healer aligns itself to viewers’ expectations, so much so, that the moment we see
Jung-hoo appear on the opposite side, mirroring her walk home, one can’t help
but smile.
I love that he’s always attuned to Yong-shin’s thought
processes and her false acts of bravery at times when she’s clearly dispirited.
He sees right through it, not only because she’s always within his line of
sight, but because he listens to her, attentively. He recognises when she’s
feeling insecure or is in need of a friend, and therefore, humours her by going
along with it.
The moment she phones Bong-soo, using the excuse of trying
to memorise phone numbers – I seriously love all their encounters over the
phone. It shows communication to be key as part of any budding relationship, which
is why (for me at least) Bong-soo’s identity became so real in the fight for
Yong-shin’s love – a testament to Song Ji-na’s writing, and indeed Chang-wook’s
acting, that brought to life two very distinct personalities, even though they
were essentially the same person.
What I most like about their phone conversations though, is
how refreshingly honest and open they are, even when nothing’s being said at
all; conversations which are always loaded with meaning –the pauses, the
silence, what’s said and what’s left unsaid, they communicate it all, without
any reservations. And that is essentially why it becomes so satisfying for us
viewers to watch because it allows us to fill in the blanks, knowing that the
feelings are real.
I also love how Jung-hoo always appears to be at conflict
with himself during these phone conversations; for it’s in these moments that
he forgets to keep up the ruse of Park-Bong Soo, opting to be himself instead.
As Jung-hoo, his concern lies with Yong-shin being out so late, but by
reverting back to Bong-soo, he gets to play ignorant, and keep her on the phone
for longer - not wanting to end their conversation. I do love how panicky he
gets when trying to look for an excuse to continue with their conversation; it
displays much of his social awkwardness.
Lol, the moment she gives him permission to lower his speech
- his face just lights up in this knowing, but cheeky grin. I seriously love
all the references to honorifics throughout this drama. It confuses the heck
out of Yong-shin, but for Jung-hoo, it gives him the green light to be himself
as much as possible, whilst still remaining hidden from view. It also speaks
volumes about their ability to express themselves comfortably, allowing the
other to relay their feelings as they are. I love that he uses this opportunity
to be there for her, knowing she’s had a rough day. Though he knows how she
must be feeling, he wants to hear it from her, knowing that that’s exactly what
she needs – someone to talk to.
Just like all their previous encounters, Jung-hoo never
fails to catch a beat, and is sure to enquire about it all. Her health, her
well being, and of course, her feelings – rather than coming up with his own
assumptions, he likes to hear it first hand, and with it, quenches his own
curiosity regarding her.
The moment she mentions that she’s waiting for “that person”,
Jung-hoo is visibly taken aback. For him, the word “waiting” must hold a lot of
significance, for it’s all he’s ever done, “wait” (for his loved ones). And for
someone who knows what that feels like, it’s clearly making his heart ache to
put Yong-shin through that very same pain. And just like that, the silence
which ensues, Yong-shin reads it perfectly, voicing his insecurities, as though
he were an open book. Just like how he’s able to hear Yong-shin’s voice, and wants
to be there for her, Yong-shin too wants to reciprocate those very same
feelings; she too needs to hear his (Healer's) voice and wants to be there for him. But in
order for her to do that, he needs to break the silence, and with it, regain
faith in himself and those around him so that his heart can love again without
the fear of abandonment. And though he’s unable to shed tears himself, it is
Jung-hoo’s silence which has him share Yong-shin’s pain, as he sits there
listening to her crying on the other end of the phone.
The star which she leaves behind is perhaps a symbol of the fate
which he now needs to take into his own hands in order for his dreams to turn
into a reality. And yet, for him to do that, Jung-hoo needs to know how
to move on; as between not knowing how to run away, and how to move on, he’s
ultimately stuck in limbo, thereby increasing his inner turmoil. It’s a point
in the drama where I find myself having to sit back and weigh in all of his
frustrations which prevent him from disclosing his true identity to Yong Shin.
Jung-hoo’s distressed calls to his Sabu when he returns home
to the dark abandoned building serves as a sharp contrast to the warmth of the
conversation he had with Yong-shin earlier. The moment he shouts out to his Sabu,
only to be received by the hollow echoes of his own voice, his fear becomes palpable.
The fact that being Healer was a result of his circumstances
and not wholly his choice, him having to prove who the real murderer is, how
the past is seemingly intertwined with his present, not knowing the truth
behind his father, living in isolation, his continuous fear of abandonment, and
not knowing how to live life – they’re questions which he’d never thought to
answer, if only due to the painful reality it evokes. For Jung-hoo, not living
was the easier option; that is until Yong-shin entered his life.
It is at this point that his desire to live becomes apparent, for it is no longer enough to look at Yong-shin from afar, but to have her walking beside him every step of the way. And that realisation only hits harder when he sees her walking towards him looking beautiful in red; her arms linked with his - walking in unison. It’s the perfect dream like reality.
It is at this point that his desire to live becomes apparent, for it is no longer enough to look at Yong-shin from afar, but to have her walking beside him every step of the way. And that realisation only hits harder when he sees her walking towards him looking beautiful in red; her arms linked with his - walking in unison. It’s the perfect dream like reality.
By namedx
1 comments
"For him, the word “waiting” must hold a lot of significance, for it’s all he’s ever done, “wait” (for his loved ones). And for someone who knows what that feels like, it’s clearly making his heart ache to put Yong-shin through that very same pain."
ReplyDeleteyou said it so well.
exactly, "waiting" is a virtue. and our Jung Shin (Jung Hoo and Young Shin) truly perfected the art of waiting. all than any other kdrama characters i have watched about 20 years (since early teens).
the beauty of it all is, Jung Hoo has been waiting like ages for his mum, sabo, been betrayed not once but twice,.. yet he waits again, forgive again.... he waits even for Youngshin in the shadow, in silent, in patient, in unbearable pain of being mistaken, and continue to wait still even until the last ep., when he bear solitude at some internet cafe watching her Someday clips.... controlling himself, waiting for the right time, when he will not cause her danger from Elder or harassment from the police (for harboring "criminal").. waiting seems to be the only thing he can do for his loved one, constraining when you are even ready to sacrifice. his "waiting" is the way he loves. " it’s clearly making his heart ache to put Yong-shin through that very same pain"you said. Beautiful.
indeed, to know that you are the very source that caused her pain, you who experience the pain in waiting, yet you are the very one that caused her to wait, first she waits in doubts after hearing what Moon-ho claimed, later she waited in pain of not able to comfort you, sensing your loneliness, then she waited in sense of betrayal that you are still not revealing yourself, .. waited for 6 days of anguish as you go missing... and she continued to wait for evidence to pop up so that she will not need to love you in guilt... yet she still tell you, she will wait for you to come back without evidence.... to someone for suffered as she waits for you, you cannot do anything else always, but to let her waits... poor poor poor OTP.
i loved that few sentences you wrote. it brought out the beauty of this unique couple, they loved each other thru waiting.