I wasn’t planning to come. My animal indicts
were telling me…over there, some kind of trap is awaiting me. If I get caught
in it, it will break my ankle at the very least. That’s why I should not come
closer, and run away.
Except, he doesn’t know how to. And just like that, it
seems he too, has become baited by Yong-shin, not as part of some evil scheme,
but as part of her unconditional love. It’s her fantasy of him which has him
halt his footsteps, not sabu, whose plan was guaranteed to back-fire either way.
When it comes to Yong-shin, the desire to get close to
someone again is a risk which Jung-hoo had avoided, lest he gets abandoned again. And it seems that this fear of his is a deeply rooted one,
forcing him to lead the isolated life he does. It’s like the wild animal that
loses its way as a result of being left behind by the rest of the pack. In
time, it has to learn to fend for itself. And for Jung-hoo, that’s a defense
mechanism which he’s had to adopt, one which Yong-shin can relate to based on
her own childhood memories. And perhaps it’s that very connection which takes
Jung-hoo inside (the workplace); igniting feelings of belonging once again.
The tendency to do the opposite of what he’s told, and
what he’s feeling, is a nice way of showing how he’s come to read people. By
going against the predictable, Jung-hoo has learnt to move boldly forward and
to come out victorious as a result. But when that same vision and philosophy of
life is shared by another, it seems there’s no way of challenging it, so the
only thing left for him to do, is to embrace it and see where it takes him.
They’re essentially two sides of the same coin, only that she’s been nurtured
to have more faith in those around her, even after having been abandoned.
The moment when Moon-ho enters the office and takes
Yong-shin under his wing, Jung-hoo looks on with a predatory gaze, as though looking
upon an enemy who’s just invaded his territory. He’s become wary of Moon-ho,
threatened by his unknown intentions, and their relevance to Yong-shin. I like
how he not only concerns himself with Moon-ho’s actions, but also the way
Yong-shin responds to them, knowing Moon-ho is her long time crush. He weighs
in on Yong-shin’s reactions, and looks on at them with an expression of pure
jealousy, knowing very well that he shares the same pedestal, but only as
Healer. He’s having to compete with Moon-ho, not just under the guise of
Healer, but Bong-soo too, and that must be really frustrating, because for one,
it forces Jung-hoo out of his comfort zone, and two, he’s having to fight for
something other than living life without any concrete goals.
The moment Yong-shin finds it difficult to breathe due to
the build up of recent events, including their encounter with the dirt bag,
Hwang Je-gook. Jung-hoo’s immediate reaction was to help console her, his
concern overriding any calculations he’d usually make as Healer – he doesn’t
think twice, and tends to her in his natural guise; not as Bong-soo, or Healer,
but as Jung-hoo. After handing her the pills, he doesn’t retreat out of
awkwardness or flinch (as we might expect from Bong-soo), but instead, he crouches
down to her level so that she can continue to use his arm for rest and comfort.
It’s a nice turnaround from his initial reaction in episode 4, and a sign of
how comfortable they are with each other.
I love his expression here. It’s as though he’s mirroring
Yong-shin’s insecurities, taking them on as his own. The saying that a problem
shared is a problem halved seems apt here, except between them, there’s no need
for words, for their understanding of each other is building up to be of a
mutual kind. The fact that he reaches out his hand to touch her, in his conscious
state, reveals a desire to want to protect her and ease her pain. It’s a beautiful moment, whereby he gets to do something for her as
Bong-soo, other than just running away from scene.
I do love how he’s always got time for her words; he actively listens to her, and
takes a mental note of it all, taking an interest in every minute detail – the
what, how, why; everything. What’s funny here though, is the pettiness which
seeps through in his enquiry. For sure, he’s curious about Moon-ho’s sudden
appearance, but there’s also a certain snide-ness to his remark about the
impact this must have on Yong-shin, it being her “first crush and all”. I love it. He’s testing the waters and
pushing the boundaries whilst under the guise of the bumbling bong-sookie!
In the next moment though, you can literally see his chest
swelling with pride when she mentions Healer never causing anyone any pain. He
revels in her (fantasy like) description of him for a split moment before
reality shatters him out of it - the fact that he’s forced to keep his identity
hidden in order to be alone. Fixated, he keeps his gaze on her, hearing his own
truth (perhaps for the first time) from the mouth of someone else. It’s something
he already knows, but to hear it at a time when he’s consciously starting to
reach out for her, must make him feel even more conflicted.
It’s ironic, but an oddly beautiful one; the fact that
she’s expressing certain truths about Healer which forms as part of her fantasy
of him, we as audiences know, are actually far from the truth. She sees him as
he sees himself. But unknown to Yong-shin, ever since he’s come to know her,
his dreams have somewhat changed direction or at least starting to, for he’s
starting to desire the very things he’d barricaded himself from – for someone
to look at him, for someone to recognise him, and for him to not be alone.
Yong-shin lists them off in shared empathy, for they were once things that she
too barricaded herself from. Hence why they’re two sides of the same coin – he
sees himself in her, or at least, it’s how he’d imagine himself to be if he
were to embrace life. More appropriately, she’d be the end point of his healing
process.
The moment when Bong-soo gets questioned about the number
of pills he gave her - lol it’s a small moment, but still, I love how Yong-shin’s
sixth sense always catches him off guard. It’s one of the things I adore about
the female lead, the fact that she’s always a step ahead of Jung-hoo at times
when he doesn’t expect it, therefore making him work twice as hard. He’d recognised
how sharp she is from the very first episode, but it’s satisfying how the trait
makes an appearance throughout the drama, continually keeping Healer on his
toes.
Jealousy alert! And it’s full blown this time. Jung-hoo
doesn’t just glare at his opponent, he shoves him out the way, thrice! It’s
great how Jung-hoo uses his Bong-soo guise to do what he wants, even if it
draws attention. It’s Bong-soo, he’s allowed to be all petty!
Something does eat away at Healer this episode, and it
isn’t just Moon-ho. Yong-shin’s moment of breathlessness stirs another, almost
immediate, reaction in Jung-hoo, and that is to seek out the root of her pain,
and make sure that it doesn’t repeat itself again. It’s when he goes over to
Hwang Jae Gook’s place to give him a piece of his mind – I like how he calls it
“going over to digest”, implying that it’s been a problem eating away at him
since their last encounter in episode 5. In a satisfying moment, he thrashes
Hwang Je-gook to a pulp, avenging the way he mistreated Yong-shin. His way of
protecting Yong-shin is no longer solely based on reaction, but open
confrontation too, set to warn those who dare mistreat her, and (being the true
gentleman that he is) other women too.
I also love how this moment revealed Jung-hoo’s intention
to protect Yong-shin even before he was assigned to do so by Moon-ho. However,
it’s in this moment that he finds out that Moon-ho is not the bad guy, but
is in it to look out for Yong-shin. I love the conflicted look which crosses
Jung-hoo’s face at this point, because it shows how he’s miscalculated again,
this time, against Moon-ho. This changes things, and puts him in a position
where he’s forced to acknowledge Moon-ho’s presence in Yong-shin’s life. It
also forces him to reassess the situation which connects him to finding out
about his own past, and that of his father’s.
A moment which captured my heart and left me feeling
breathless, along with the rest of you too, I’m sure. After having beaten up
Hwang trash, Jung-hoo sets up a rendezvous with Yong-shin up on the rooftop of
Someday news. The whole scene played out like some dreamlike fantasy – it was
warm, subtle, heroic, and beautifully captured. It’s the type of scene where
words alone can do it no justice, you have to watch it with your own eyes, and
drink in the feels.
If anyone can lure Healer out, it’s Yong-shin. She’s
willing to put her blind trust in him in order to share a moment together. And
he, after somewhat of a tense moment, obliges. He slowly steps out, and stops
at a distance. In true Yong-shin fashion, she gets straight to the point and
questions Healer about the times he’d saved her, wanting confirmation of them.
He gives it to her without any pretence.
I love how she’d already connected the dots in her head
about the nail clipping being for a DNA test, leaving both us and Healer in genuine
awe of her quick-thinking. The smile he gives her always leaves me feeling
giddy, because for me, it’s a sign of kudos he has for her abilities, showing
her to be on par of his Healer ways.
She questions “why” he went out of his way to protect
her, which is a question Healer himself has yet to answer. And although she
hits the nail on the head each time she poses a question, the conclusion she
rounds it off too leaves Healer somewhat flabbergasted, and rightly so, lol.
Her, “are you my biological father”, line sets me off into laughter every time, cutting
through the somewhat tense moment.
Continuing with the beautifully charged moment, her hand accidently
brushes against his frame (making the heart race). After a tense pause, she reaches out her hand, and places it directly on his chest, voicing
out: “who are you, and who am I?”
What I most love about this moment, like all their
other moments, is the reciprocal nature of it. It’s not enough for her to ask
who she is, but what’s equally important, is to know who he is. She’s curious
and therefore enquires. She could have easily, at that moment, removed her
blindfold, and found out for herself, but she respects his ways, and would rather
hear it from him, should he come to trust her enough.
I love that she asks this whilst her hand is on his
chest. It’s a confirmation of his presence, and the fact that he’s real,
something which Yong-shin has never had the pleasure of experiencing. It gives
life to her fantasy, and with it, Jung-hoo’s too, as for him, the feelings are
visibly real, and you can see the affect this one simple gesture has on him. It
shakes him to the core, making him swallow and leaving him breathless. His
nervous glances show how new he is to these feelings, and yet, in an effort to
own them completely, he draws his own hand over hers and brings himself closer
to her. That one step brings the two together, and connects them on mutual
grounds, showing the flow of feelings to run both ways. By making it so that
her hand is more securely placed over his heart, he’s readily inviting her to
confirm his own feelings regarding her. And though he repeats his warning to
her of not to follow anyone so fearlessly, by now, he knows her well enough to
know that this is not in her nature. In fact, her doing the opposite would have
her run straight into his embrace; and the way he gazes at her in this moment shows
that he wouldn't want it any other way.
I do think Yong-shin’s smart enough to know that that was
his fear talking, for the moment she asks “why” she shouldn’t trust anyone
(him) so easily, you can see Jung-hoo having no real answer for it except
for his own experiences of being abandoned. In response, he reluctantly lets
go of her hands; it’s a poignant moment whereby both continue to linger their
touch, even for that split second after letting go.
Their touch clearly lingers on in their minds, and for
Jung-hoo, that’s sure to leave him conflicted. For no matter how hard he tries to deny his feelings, there’s no use, because the more he tries to escape them, the more
they chase up to him, wanting him to be brave, in spite of his fear, just like
Yong-shin.
By namedx
